As of every summer, I've undergone a change in the past few months. Not a change I necessarily like, and one I'm actually a little bit afraid of. Well, alright, I'm going into high school next year and, well, I'm already be-ginning to see the changes in peoples' personas. I volunteer at a summer camp, where most of the other volunteers are 1-4 years older than me. And well, I've just come to realize that the guys are hornier, the girls are stupider and, in all honesty, they all sort of re-mind me of eachother... I hate that it feels like I'm be-ginning to mesh into this crowd, be-cause I don't like it there. I like having intelligent conversations and just hanging out playing video games, like I did with my five closest friends practically all through middle school. But now, it seems like everything's all about hooking up (which I'm vexed to admit has already occured a few times to me this summer) and be-traying anyone you get the opportunity to. I hate that. I feel like I've lost my innocece, even though nothing exactly /prodigious/ has happened yet. I suppose it's the just the feeling of having myself, simple, little nothing-special self, encompassed in this huge mess called adolescence.

And I'm not afraid, be-cause, like I've said, I've got some friends who I'm pretty sure have got my back no matter what. But what if that special connection we had... just rots and spoils in the dross of our future, which I'm still hoping (and unfortunately doubting) looks as bright as it did in May...

Uhh. I both hate and love that I got this "sneak preview" of what is to come when August rolls around... I'll be more prepared than most of my friends who will surely be completely entrapped in the vastness of it as I was in the be-ginning of June. But at the same time, I lost a summer. My last summer to still get away with being but a child.

And... poof... it's gone.